Star Wars Part VII - How The East Was Bought

It is a dark day for the Republic ...

The Dark Lord's son, Hank Steinvader

has opened the vast treasury of the Empire

and has refitted his fleet with twice as much

fire-power as the Republican forces. But is Evil

ever truly a match for the light side of the Force?

A beleaguered Republican army has vowed to fight!

With his courageous pilots, Beckett and Lester, the last

Jedi, Daisuke, leads his faithful droids, P3DR0A and UUU! -

and two ancient yet resilient Wookie clones - Papi and Knuckleball.

Before a last desperate assault against Death Star X, our brave heroes

must defeat a formidable legion on the distant smog planet of the Angels ...

Payrolls and Championships

The two tier team payroll structure in baseball is a reality for teams who want to compete for a playoff spot in October. This year, there is a new category in the Yankees who still top the salary cap of $200,000 despite the recession. The bloated Evil Empire has just bought its 10th division title in 12 years despite failing to sell-out its overpriced box seats in the new Yankee Stadium, "the house that Hank built."

The stark fact remains that teams who want to make the playoffs must shell out at least $100,000 in player salaries, especially in the American League. The two notable exceptions this year are the Rockies and the Cardinals, two National League teams that reached the World Series three times in the past five years, the Rockies in 2007, and the Cardinals losing in 2004, but winning it all in 2005.

American League Playoff Teams

Eastern Division - New York Yankees

Central Division - Detroit Tigers or Minnesota Twins

Western Division - Los Angeles Angels

Wild Card - Boston Red Sox

National League Playoff Teams

Eastern Division - Philadelphia Phillies

Central Division - St. Louis Cardinals

Western Division - Los Angeles Dodgers

Wild Card - Colorado Rockies

2009 MLB payrolls

Yankees $201,449,289
Mets $135,773,988
Cubs $135,050,000
Red Sox $122,696,000
Tigers $115,085,145
Angels $113,709,000
Phillies $113,004,048
Astros $102,996,415
Dodgers $100,458,101
Mariners $98,904,167
Braves $96,726,167
White Sox $96,068,500
Cardinals $88,528,411
Giants $82,161,450
Indians $81,625,567
Blue Jays $80,993,657
Brewers $79,857,502
Rockies $75,201,000
D-backs $73,571,667
Reds $70,968,500
Royals $70,908,333
Rangers $68,646,023
Orioles $67,101,667
Twins $65,299,267
Rays $63,313,035
Athletics $62,310,000
Nationals $59,328,000
Pirates $48,743,000
Padres $42,796,700
Marlins $36,814,000